Fantasy XMAS List Vs Reality

If I were rich AF, I'd ask for nothing more but a Gucci bag & for my house to be designed ceiling to floor in Versace. Do you hear me, Fantasy Santa?

OK. Put down the bottle, Cringle. I know it's not realistic for me to ask. But I just thought that maybe since you didn't deliver on the Benz & the Louis Vuittons last year, you were gonna cut me a little slack. I mean, I have been good. I drink my morning coffee so I don't hurt anyone & I never forget lipstick so everyone knows I mean business. 

Really though, it's okay. I know you're busy & I'll settle for whatever you decide to throw under the trees. You know I like wine & shoes. I know you'll work with it.

I'm not rich AF, and if Santa decides he's had a few too many to drive the sleigh, I'll understand.

In case you'll be around though, Mr. Claus, here are a few of the basics that would be GREAT.

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1. Could you sprinkle a little magic dust to prevent my legs from aching after playing hide and seek all day?

2. Fix traffic. If it wasn't for 2Chainz playing through the aux cord, I'd probably pay more attention for the upcoming meltdown due to a little hooligan kicking the back of my seat. 

3. The floors can vacuum themselves, right?

4. Those people that put reindeer decor on the front of their car, can they be put on the Naughty List? It's tacky. 

5. I'd like a new coffee maker. You know.. For obvious reasons.

6. Bedtime should come sooner. The house is a mess & I need to shower. 

7. I would like my nails to never break. 

8. It could be a little warmer.. I can't feel my hands. 

9. Why are there only 4 registers open at Wal-Mart? There are 1,000 people in here.

10. Dinner delivery, 3 times a week?

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I think I'll just leave it short & sweet. Feel free to add your little touches, though. That Gucci bag still is ideal to me. 

  I know, I know. Really all I want is for everyone to have a happy, healthy, and drunken Holiday Season this year.

Thanks for reading!
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