Sh*t Kids Write... To Santa

If you read my last post about the sh*t that kids write, you know how humorous they can be with their words. In true Christmas spirit, I wanted to bring you a compilation of letters to Mr. Claus. 

Dear Santa, 

You better bring my pony this year. Or there will be consequences. 

- We all want a pony. Do you want to face the consequence, Santa? -

Dear Santa, 

Santa if you bring presents with batteries, bring batteries. 

- Seriously. It sucks to get a cool toy and have no batteries. -

Dear Santa,

I have been very good this year and for Christmas, I would like a barbie house like my friend Macy, an Ipad, a box of tacos, and a pet pig.

- I hope your new pet pig doesn't eat that box of tacos. That would be a shame. -

 

Dear Santa,

How are you? I'm good. Here is what I want for Christmas. 

*Insert Amazon link here*

- This is too cute & so fitting for the world today. Hop on over to Amazon to see the kids' wishlist. -

 Dear Santa, 

My name is Jacob and I am 1 years old. I would really like Santa to bring me...

A sausage.

- Me too, Jacob. I effing love sausage. -

Dear Santa, 

Please text my dad. He has my whole list. I love you. Xoxoxox

- Skip the whole postage thing and just text the jolly man himself. - 
 

Dear Santa, 

There is onlu one thing I want for Christmas Summer Vacation. That one thing is to bring Leonardo Dicaprio to my house because I think he's cute and I would like to meet him. If you could do that, I would be SO GRATEFUL. THANKS SANTA!

- Can Leo stop by my place for summer vacay too? This girl is smart. -

 

Dear Santa,

How are you and the reindeer doing? I am doing fine. I want a new football game and football because my little brother always tries to steal mine. He may look sweet but he is the devil. I alwso want a remote control truck.

Love, Evan

P.S. How do you get in to my house on Christmas?

- His brother Satan is trying to steal his football, Santa. Can you help him out? How do you get into the house? Are you breaking windows?

 

Cute, right? Oh... the joys of parenting.

Thanks for reading! 

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