The Greatest Valentines Day Pick-Up Lines

Valentine's is the cheesiest holiday in my opinion. Like shouldn't you love your significant other and show them that all the time?! 

Or for the single people, what the fuck are they supposed to do? Eat ice cream & wallow in their single sorrow? 

No, my friends. You're going to go out there and find the pretty/handsome, lady/fella and drop these sweet, sweet lines. 

Your success rate is guaranteed. 

And my personal favorite: 

These are killer, right? Enjoy V-Day! 

& remember, if these fail you, there is always a fallback plan.

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I Tried The Claw Manicure

Okay so, if you know me, you know I try to keep my nails looking fresh all through the week. I don't go to a salon because I feel like I can do it myself and save the money. (I'm fucking savvy, you know?)

There's just something about having a pretty manicure that makes me feel warm & happy inside. It's like ooooh, girl, get it. 

I've been seeing a lot of new nail trends lately on social media outlets. I love that, because I can easily find new inspiration when I want something new. Not sure if anyone really follows celeb gossip anymore, but Kim Kardashian West is trying to sport a new mani "trend" and it makes me want to chop her hands off. 

OMG. She's piercing her nails with chains and hoops and shit. How do you grab anything? Can you even use your fingers/hands at all? I'm not a fan.

I did however, buy into the "claw" shaped nail trend. I've been seeing so many photos and thought I'd give them a go. They're just different and kinda grew on me. 

The super long ones freak me out, though. They looks like weapons and I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with giving myself that kind of power. 

  DANGEROUS

My nails are longer so I shaped and filed them like the ones below. 

The outcome? I really love them. 

At first, I made the points a bit too sharp and kept stabbing my face. So I filed them just a little to take off that super prominent point. 

I feel like my nails are saying, "Don't fuck with me." & I love that. Lol. 

Do you keep up with your manicure? Or nail trends? Tell me about them!

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How To Not Be A Dick: A Child's Guide

Every child hits a stage where they're just an asshole. I don't think the vast world of science & technology could even begin to explain the reason why. It just happens. As a parent, you have to know how to deal with the messiness of childlike behavior without acting like one yourself. 

  Alright kiddies. Before your mom has to tell you for the 23940175 time, I'm going to give you some basic guidelines on How To Not Be A Dick.    I know you want to roll out of bed and go jump on your Mom to wake her up.  Don't.   You know how you always throw your toys just because you like the loud noise? Stop it.   The way you diddle your ass instead of getting ready, & we're already late. Put your fucking shoes on.   When it comes to your food... I know it's so cute to throw it on the floor and watch the dog jump for it. Eat it.
Sure, we can watch Paw Patrol instead. But you know what you have to do? ACTUALLY watch it.   If you're thinking about dunking something into the toilet,  Think again.    In the grocery store, it's okay to be bored. But for fuck's sake Don't make a scene.    If it isn't yours,  Don't be getting into it.    If you want to be heard,  You do not need to raise your voice. I'm standing right in front of you.   Instead of going all Indiana Jones & trying to climb on the counters to get something out of a cabinet, Just ask.      When Mommy goes to the bathroom, Let her have some privacy. She just wants to shit in peace.   Sharpies are markers. Meant for paper & other crafts. Not for your body or the walls.   Sure, your brother is being crazy too. Don't hit him.   I know you have secret super powers and can climb up the wall,  Resist this urge.  
  When it comes to sticking things up your nose or in your ears,
Seriously? You're an animal. 

If mom said no,
That most likely means no.

You want to play a game on Mom's phone?
Fine. No need to text everyone in her inbox some made up language. 

When it comes to making a big mess, if you wouldn't wanna clean it up,
Don't do it.

 
If you want to dance around the house half-naked,
Man. Go for it.
 
  You see, the moral of the story here is,  If you don't want Mommy to be a dick... You probably shouldn't be one either.      Enjoy the insanity, mamas! :) Xoxo    Linking up with:  

Snapchat Fails -- People Having a Bad Day

We all have those days. You wake up & just know something isn't right with it. You crawl out of bed, put on your slippers, and fall down the stairs. 

Damn. 

I've compilated some Snapchat fails of people having a worse day than me & probably you, too. 

So on a scale of 1 to these photo fails, how was your week?!

Happy Friday & thanks for stopping by!

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