Friday, December 16, 2016

Walmart AKA HellMart

Walmart. We all dread those grocery store trips. I live in a small town, where Walmart is the only place to pick up the necessities. You know.. You go to pick up toilet paper & coffee creamer and end up spending an hour waiting in line to check out.

Wally World hoes... Why are there a thousand customers and only four registers open? I want to go home and continue binge-watching Breaking Bad. 

This old lady in front of me is using a coupon for every item scanned. I'm so glad you saved $0.75 on your BenGay but I'm not sure I can stand here and listen to the idle chit chat about the snow outside as you spend 30 minutes pulling out coupon after coupon.

Wait, let me rewind a second. 

I'm 5 foot nothing, and had a difficult time reaching the toilet paper I wanted on the top effing shelf because someone carelessly threw it up there. I climbed up the rack, hoping no one would see my midget self - looking like a child who ran away from his mom to do parkour off of things.

That hope went down the drain as I noticed a very obese woman in one of those motor chairs smirking at the sight of my struggle. Bish, I know you can walk. Stop giggling at me.

I finally knocked the TP into the cart. 
*Wipes sweat from forehead*
Now, let me grab the coffee creamer and get the f*ck out of here.

I continue over to the dairy aisle. I reach for the freezer door where I see the last Sugar Cookie creamer. A woman with 5 loud children literally let me open the door, reach for the bottle, and rudely shoved her big booty in front of mine & stole it right from under my nose.

Okay, I didn't really scrap in WalMart. 


Did that really just happen? I'm devastated. I grab the next flavor (unhappily) and throw it into my cart. I hate people. 

Okay. No more nice lady. I did not wear lipstick for you people to think I am not about my business. I quickly scurry to the front of the store so I can leave before I have a nervous breakdown. 

And now we are back to where we began. The store is packed, with little to no registers open. I finally find one where the line is shortest, but it's still going to be probably a twenty-minute wait. Oh well. I can do it.

Just kidding. 

I'm finally next to check out & that little old lady.. Man. Why not? 

The moral of the story is I should probably start going to HellMart at the a$$ crack of dawn or at 2 in the morning when not a creature is in sight. 

I can't even. 

Does anyone else have these experiences at the classy WalMart? Tell me about them. Make me laugh or feel better. 

Linking up today with:

My Random Musings

Being A Wordsmith

Pick N Mix Fridays

1 comment:

  1. We don't have walmart here, but at 5 foot 2 I know the short person struggle when shopping! I am forever having to ask people to pass things down to me.

    Stevie x